Silence Isn’t an Option

For those of us who have been at this for awhile, it's not surprising anymore when people argue. It's one thing being silenced by strangers, but something else entirely when it's our friends or family members. What happens when, in our efforts to educate, we end up hurting those we love? How do we balance …

Center

My daughter recently returned from a trip to visit her grandparents. While she was there she spent time having heart to heart talks with my mom. My mom is inquisitive and empathetic. She digs deep and loves hard, especially her granddaughter. One of their discussions included how my "unfogging" and consequent advocacy has effected Maddie. …

Adopted: The Place In Between

Two families. Two lives. Not fully belonging to either. The mother who has prayed for me since the day I arrived. The mother who was there through every milestone, loving me fiercely. The mother who has been grandmother to my children. The mother who never felt ownership, but loved me like I was hers. The …

Divorce and Adoption: The Church Responds to a Family in Crisis

Christians grieve divorce like a death. They view it as family destruction, a broken covenant, and they mourn the loss a family will face. They offer counseling and resources in order to restore the marriage. The church community rallies around in support. They are very serious when it comes to saving a family from separation. …

Now That I Know

Whenever I attempt to tell My Story I can feel the hands of a giant threatening to strangle me if I continue talking. I turn down interviews and offers to speak because I can't tell My Story. I don't like people looking at me and I certainly don't want people looking at me when I …

The Church and Adoption: Part of the Solution or Part of the Problem?

During the last few years I've had several conversations with other Christians and church leaders about adoption. I walk away feeling disappointed because I expect them to embrace truth even when it's uncomfortable. Or, at the very least, be willing to explore this idea that adoption might not be the best possible solution for a …

Adoption: What Would Jesus Do?

"If you hadn't been adopted you might never have known Jesus." This was said too often in my Evangelical upbringing. In conversations with several other adoptees, I've discovered this statement was on repeat throughout their lives as well. It's safe to say this reflects the mindset of many Christians in regards to adoption. When I …

Adoption and Abortion: The Great Conflation

"You should be thankful you weren't aborted." I'm never quite sure how to respond when people say this to me. Throughout my life I've heard this more times than I can count. I'm 47 years old and I still have no idea why anyone would say this out loud. The truth is, my mother never …

Adoption: Infertility, Entitlement, and the Gift of a Child.

Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. I'm no Bible scholar but I'm certain this verse is referencing the womb of the mother who carries the child. I don't believe it's referring to this mother as simply a vessel for another woman who is …

The Church and Adoption: Changing the Narrative

Christians, at least the Christians I know, really want to do the right thing. When it comes to adoption they truly believe the narrative that tells them they are giving a better life to a child in need, and they're comfortable with the status quo. But, how do we peel back the layers so we …