Now That I Know

Whenever I attempt to tell My Story I can feel the hands of a giant threatening to strangle me if I continue talking. I turn down interviews and offers to speak because I can't tell My Story. I don't like people looking at me and I certainly don't want people looking at me when I …

Adoption: Infertility, Entitlement, and the Gift of a Child.

Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. I'm no Bible scholar but I'm certain this verse is referencing the womb of the mother who carries the child. I don't believe it's referring to this mother as simply a vessel for another woman who is …

Adoptees and Saying Goodbye

I hate saying goodbye. It might be a move, a death, a break up, or an unhealthy friendship. Sometimes it's just that a vacation is over, yet, for many adoptees it's so much more than a goodbye; it's a visceral response that is really uncomfortable. Even if we no longer want the person around, the …

Just Listen.

People often ask me how I function being both adoptee and a mother of loss. The truth is, life was easier before. I could never connect the dots. Missing my daughter made sense but missing my mother was elusive. It didn't have a name. How could I miss someone I never knew? Why would I …