Christians grieve divorce like a death. They view it as family destruction, a broken covenant, and they mourn the loss a family will face. They offer counseling and resources in order to restore the marriage. The church community rallies around in support. They are very serious when it comes to saving a family from separation. … Continue reading Divorce and Adoption: The Church Responds to a Family in Crisis
A seductive mistress, disguised as beauty and redemption. A thief shrouded in lace, extending her strong and graceful arms to steal, leaving a half-life on the floor. Don't make us beg for freedom or proclaim our gratitude. You chained us to your cold, dark cell. Imprisoned. Your false promises inflicted their wounds. So we sit, … Continue reading I see you.
Whenever I attempt to tell My Story I can feel the hands of a giant threatening to strangle me if I continue talking. I turn down interviews and offers to speak because I can't tell My Story. I don't like people looking at me and I certainly don't want people looking at me when I … Continue reading Now That I Know
During the last few years I've had several conversations with other Christians and church leaders about adoption. I walk away feeling disappointed because I expect them to embrace truth even when it's uncomfortable. Or, at the very least, be willing to explore this idea that adoption might not be the best possible solution for a … Continue reading The Church and Adoption: Part of the Solution or Part of the Problem?
I just hung up the phone with a friend I met in Adoptionland. She's an adoptive parent raising 4 girls, all of whom are adopted. She is attuned to their needs and actively pursuing ways to help them not only survive, but also thrive around their trauma. She woke up to adoption truths after they … Continue reading When Love Doesn’t Win
"If you hadn't been adopted you might never have known Jesus." This was said too often in my Evangelical upbringing. In conversations with several other adoptees, I've discovered this statement was on repeat throughout their lives as well. It's safe to say this reflects the mindset of many Christians in regards to adoption. When I … Continue reading Adoption: What Would Jesus Do?
"You should be thankful you weren't aborted." I'm never quite sure how to respond when people say this to me. Throughout my life I've heard this more times than I can count. I'm 47 years old and I still have no idea why anyone would say this out loud. The truth is, my mother never … Continue reading Adoption and Abortion: The Great Conflation